TheBighead1200

I dont feel like im really here. Today is my birthday and i am now at a age were i cant screw up. Today is the day i was born, 18 years ago but yet today feels like a normal day. I dont feel any different, i don't feel lots of joy i just feel exposed. The people that im around dont notice anything different, they do say "happy birthday" but they only say it because they feel silly if they didnt. My family says it when they are reminded that today is my birthday. I dont judge them. People forget and people make mistakes, i dont feel sad nor happy about today. I dont expect any of you to say happy birthday because you don't really know me. I do

I can't look into the mirror without getting mad at myself, I am unworthy for freedom. I am unworthy to find happiness for myself. I'm alone and hungry for blood but yet i'm still a newborn that's never had it. I feel like to can change a good heartened man into a demon with only my words. I've never felt the touch of true love before... i thought i had before but, it was false. So... Whats next?  What am i willing to do to have this feeling? I'm willing to give my soul to the devil himself just to find answers. And i'll take anyone down with me if i have too. If i can't have this feeling then why should the devil have it for himself? I'm wil